I’ve been in this boat with therapy. My shitty insurance only seemed to cover the most terrible therapists, who actively made my mental health worse by seeing them. And the cost of seeing even the cheapest ones that my insurance didn’t cover was still prohibitively expensive, and just a financial risk I couldn’t afford, especially when I didn’t know whether they would be any better than the awful ones my insurance covered. Some good therapists can run over $200 an hour! Paying to see one of them weekly is literally the cost of rent!