It’s different because men have always been allowed to do other things with their lives, either alongside or as an alternative to marriage or fatherhood. But for most of human history, women have literally had no choice but to be wives and mothers, completely dependent on husbands with no identity outside of it. Only 50 years ago, women were not legally allowed to open their own bank accounts. It’s hurtful because most women don’t want to be shoehorned into the only role that we were allowed to have for so long.